Building a Business with Introverts’ Superpowers with Nedra Rezinas

Kim Allchurch Flick: Hello everyone. This is Kim Allchurch Flick, welcoming you to a podcast with Nedra Rezinas. I’m so happy to be here with Nedra. Nedra is a business strategist and coach for introverted and empathy driven solopreneurs and businesses. She helps people build a clear path to a business they will love, and that reflects the true you while not having to be loud in an extroverted world.

She lives in the Pacific Northwest and is a mom, dog owner, instructor, facilitator, guide, and love books, tea and Nature. Having owned over four businesses, Nedra brings all of her mistakes and successes into her practice to help guide her clients. She’s been nominated twice as one of the top 15 coaches in Portland.

Today we’re gonna talk about building a business with introverts superpowers. What a great title. It speaks to me. How are you? 

Nedra Rezinas: Good. Good to see you, Kim. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: It’s good to see you. I don’t recall how long ago we met, but we’ve been together working at the SBDC Small Business Development Center in. Just in the world of entrepreneurs in the Portland area you’ve invited me to be a guest lecturer in a couple of your classes at Portland State, and you’re also on my advisory board, which I’m so grateful for.

So there’s a lot of crossover and I admit to being an introvert, so I am always intrigued when you have something to say. So what has been. Your journey what is it like to come to a place where you’re reaching out to introverts and what have been the Q clues, cues and values along the way as you’ve had four businesses and and come to this point? 

Nedra Rezinas: I think part of it is my own journey of realizing where I am and who, where I lie. So I think, just, since I’ve known you, Kim I think I’ve become a little bit more confident in my ability to help guide and coach people. And, but yet. I used to compare myself to other people and be like I’m not as outgoing, or I’m not as loud as ’em, or I’m just, is that okay?

And I, I would just just critique myself and, not be very nice and be hard on myself. And then I realized, no, this is, there’s a path for this. There’s a way, there’s a way. That I can do this and relate with people. And what I started noticing too, is even throughout a couple different businesses, I had a web design business for a while and even a marketing coaching business, I kept seeing that my best clients tended to be more introverted and empathy driven and appreciated.

The, not the small talk, but the deeper conversations we would have about their business, even who they were, like, be able to see them who they are and help them connect. Their love of what they’re doing and their own superpowers. Like sometimes people I think lose track of that and don’t remember what they’re best at or maybe think, ah, sadly, and I’ve been in this too, where they think their superpower is a detriment.

They think it’s a hinder. It is hindering them or it’s hurting ’em. And that’s usually the opposite to some extent, depending on how you view it. So I think just through my own clients and my own personal journey, I’ve seen that. There is a, there’s a, there’s quite a few people out there that just want to be seen and heard, but in a way that reflects their values and understand that being more quiet or being more reserved or, not wanting to put your, not wanting to be on video, on YouTube is okay, and just being yourself where you’re at.

Kim Allchurch Flick: Absolutely. And do you think introverts have been stereotyped through time? Is it a stereotype to say introvert or extrovert? 

Nedra Rezinas: It depends on the people. I was just even like at a small meeting last week with other business owners and even giving me, saying, I help introverted business owners.

I get this interesting reaction of like, well, I’m an extrovert. Can you help me? Am I excluded from that? Or just even Ooh, tell me more. What do you, how do you define introvert? I think some people don’t even really know where they look. They are on the spectrum, and that’s okay.

They don’t have to know. It’s, I think it’s just awareness of there’s a different way, maybe there’s different ways to do things. I think it’s thinking outside the box and being okay with maybe a little bit non-traditional path of how to market or how to do business, or how to sell your business, how to basically run your business in a sense, 

Kim Allchurch Flick: yeah I agree with that. And how do you view introverts in your community and what has resonated as problems to be solved as you’ve gotten deeper into this work with that word, but the greater meaning of all of it? 

Nedra Rezinas: I think generally speaking, a lot of my friends are introverted.

I like, I feel like I’ve been, starting even in, in school, like even in high school I was a friend to many different groups. Almost like I, I’m a translator ’cause I can camouflage myself with extroverts for a bit and then, be really comfortable with the introverts.

And I think I can see how there, if you don’t have that. Flexibility. It’s really hard to converse and understand each other, and I think we just need more of that ability as we see with the world right now. To be more open-minded and find common ground. And I think people are just really rigid in not wanting to find that common ground as much unless they have someone that can help them see that.

I think there’s a lot of division that even when it comes to extrovert introvert, where people put people in the buckets, and that’s not what I’m trying to do. I’m trying to, let’s see what we have in common. What can we , let’s start with something simple oh, we all like nature.

Let’s start with that. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: Yeah. And I think it’s a little bit of science on it that says a lot of it has to do with how people process their own energy. And recognize like how to fill the tank back up. And for some people it, it’s being out in crowds that helps fill their tank.

And for some people, and I’m one of ’em, I love being around people for a while. Yeah. But then there’s a point where to fill the tank means. Quiet time or alone time or, 

Nedra Rezinas: yeah, 

Kim Allchurch Flick: something. Something like that. And that may be part of the difference. And how are people responding because this, someone working with that word still feels new to me.

That it just hadn’t been addressed that much scientifically. A little bit. There’s been discussions but. The stereotypes have still existed and you’re breaking through a bit and saying, I do understand it. And what have the re, what have the response has been? 

Nedra Rezinas: I think there’s been, I think there’s a number of people that.

When I’ve talked about this in my newsletters or, in my workshops, they’re like, wow, you see me, you understand, you. No one really talks about these things. What This is incredible. Just, and then I think. And then there’s also like a, and then there’s this other group of people I think are like, wait, where do I fit in?

I don’t even know. And I think there’s a bit of confusion or like ident, you know, self-identification. Like I don’t know where I’m supposed, where I’m supposed to be. And a little bit of a almost like a loss in trying to find their way. So it’s a, it is, I think. The more we can have discussions about it and understand that maybe some of us are not even, maybe just have more tendencies to one or the other.

Or maybe we’re like even an Amber Vert, maybe we’re a little bit of both, and that’s that’s where I sit sometimes, depending on the day. But I’m also hearing more leaders like Brene Brown talk about it in her podcast. I’m starting to, I feel like we’re starting to see more emergence of people like that, talking about it and making it more.

For lack of a better word, mainstream, to, to make it, to help us all have some definitions to work with that aren’t feeling like we’re labeling people, we’re actually gonna help ’em. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: Yeah. And you and I were talking before about what’s expected at work sometimes, particularly in something like sales and.

I’ll share my experience in corporate sales. It was for medicine, and as I was a territory manager, which was usually a couple of states, I could fly, I could drive, I could be alone quite a bit. I, it was work from home and I loved calling on the clients and that was terrific. And then to go to a sales meeting.

It was all extrovert all the time, and sometimes our sales meetings would last for a week. There would be, 

Nedra Rezinas: wow, 

Kim Allchurch Flick: you expected to show up for breakfast or you expected to go to lunch? I expected to go to dinner and I learned to keep my sanity as I would go for walks at lunch and just completely skip it.

And until somebody called me out on that. And then I became a manager and they said. First, when I was interviewed for a startup to be a manager, somebody said, you’re a loner in a quiet one. Like it was a bad thing, but I still had the job. And as I was hiring, one of the profiles that they had, they wanted us to hire was, vivacious and outgoing and all these words.

And that’s a lot of energy. And yet I also realized that on the customer side, there ever some people who really appreciate and vivacious, outgoing, and some are like you and I, where they’d rather talk quietly, maybe have a cup of tea and have a discussion that’s not. Doesn’t include jokes and things and I, it’s to be careful not to stereotype, but when a company creates a profile, and this was a while ago, there’s some science that says that everybody can be good at sales or good at something regardless.

But it’s when we’re shoved into a box. And what I noticed was long days and exhaustion often came from not having any time to myself. Oh, I bet. And I think people can definitely relate to that too. 

And so when you’re, we’re talking with people, if they’re in those situations, what do you recommend?

What do you offer if they’re in a place where they can’t control how much alone time or quiet time they get? 

Nedra Rezinas: That’s a great question, Kim. I think, it is gotta be a way, possibly for them to audit their time maybe like a week audit or something, or their energy and just seeing if there’s opportunities maybe in different parts of the day where they can recharge themselves.

If it’s not, like you said, if it’s like full on. Nine to five or even their lunch is demanding. Maybe there’s a way they can sneak away just to get outside for a minute. Like you said, walks are really good just to have some quiet time. Even if you can maybe put on some headphones just to have your own space.

But I think outside of that, it’s really important in your off time to have that recharge, whether it be. Reading or doing a craft or doing something that can relax you, I think can also be helpful. But yeah, that’s hard. I, it’s, I think it’s just finding the little opportunities where you can and asking for permission to asking your, giving yourself permission to do, to take those breaks.

I think that’s part of it. Sometimes I think we’re just so. We feel like we have to show up and have to do these things, but when in reality, we’re all adults here, we’re making our own choices, maybe you can find some wiggle room here and there to give yourself some grace and go hide out in your car for a minute if you need to, or go for a little walk.

And people, it, it’s not gonna break a deal or make, people, I think there’s more understanding than there ever has been in this world.

Kim Allchurch Flick: I think we’re in a good space. And what are some challenges in your work and that you’re seeing for people? 

Nedra Rezinas: Can you gimme more, can you elaborate on that?

I’m not sure if there’s a stick. Yeah. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: Challenges or obstacles like stereotypes might be one, but how they can navigate. A around a challenge in their work that where they may feel like they, they’d like to have a different way to do things or, okay. I’m not real sure. I think we all have some challenges and obstacles 

And stereotypes that come up against, and I’m just wondering if people share anything with you that seems to be relevant in community or in their lives, in your life. 

Nedra Rezinas: I think there’s a couple things. It’s maybe more you’re showing up I think there’s, we’ve talked about this a lot, like social media can be something that a lot of people, I think there’s a, I think there’s a big shift happening just recently where people are like, whoa, this is not where I wanna be hanging out.

And it’s not depending, it doesn’t even matter if you’re introvert or extrovert at all. I think there’s a lot of awakening in for that, but, so it’s just, I think it’s just even putting where you’re putting your energy. So the challenge is, you need to, let’s say you’re a business and you just need to market yourself maybe, instead of leaning into social media, maybe email marketing or more quieter techniques are gonna help you.

Leaning into more one-on-one conversations and building referral partners. There’s a lot of things you can do that aren’t demanding that you would put yourself on video and show up in the Instagram reels. I think that. I’ve seen so many business owners like just look at me, sadly, like, is that my only option?

And it’s just nice to show and give them a path that no, you don’t have to do everyone else is doing. In fact, if you, it’s better if you don’t because that is such a loud. Like channel. It’s such it’s hard to be even seen or heard over that. So maybe do something a little bit different.

I think the, another challenge that comes up is sales. Like you mentioned people, feel like they have to be like so outgoing and so vivacious and, invigorating. And that’s not what people always want. And the superpower of a introvert is listening and be able to listen to someone and see if you can.

Their, what their problems are, what they’re facing, and how you can help them and reflect back. And I remember one time I had a one one web design client, and we had a we had a sales call and I took lots of notes and listened to ’em carefully and then refer, summarized back what he was looking for.

And he’s like, I’ve interviewed different web designers and you’re the only one that actually listened to me. And I heard that a lot. I heard that. So I, and it’s nice to know that. The listening skill can be really helpful and can be a really great asset, especially when it comes to sales and working with clients.

Kim Allchurch Flick: I, I totally agree. And you brought up social media, which I feel as well, and sometimes the demand that we, in many businesses, we should be focusing on content and frequency and all of that. And that in itself can feel. Exhausting introvert or extrovert and targeted can be so much better.

But the other thing is, before COVID there were more meetings in person during COVID, more meetings on Zoom and noticing that. And it all depends on the type of meeting. If it’s one-on-one camera, on feels okay. If there’s a group, and this is my. Personal thing. If there’s a group and there’s a lot of talking, sometimes even in standing in my own house alone, it can feel like too much noise and there’s a shift.

What if I can turn my camera off? It actually feels different than when it’s on and yet I realize that turning it off. I’m also in rooms where when somebody else is off, I think, why are they engaging? And, but yet when I do, sometimes I feel like I’m engaging more. And then there’s some that are at webinars where there’s many, many people.

And having a camera off is fine because it’s a learning, it’s not an engaging kind of thing. And I’m wondering what are your observations with Zoom and the increasing amount of time on Zoom and how it affects. The people you’re talking with. 

Nedra Rezinas: Wow. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: It’s a big topic. 

Nedra Rezinas: It’s a big topic. I actually was in a meeting with other community builders last week and I think we’re all a bit burned out on Zoom to, and I think Zoom can be great and I think it’s a good tool.

But I think what we’re gonna see and what we’re starting to see in the next year or two is a return to people in person and we and as introverts or people that you know, wanna be careful with their energy. That can be a delicate thing. So I think it’s it’s really important to find.

What you’re seeking. And it could be through on, virtual meetings like and being careful with your time on that. But I think it’s also really important to be open to more in-person connections. ’cause I think as we are getting more and more like AI and tech in our worlds, we need more human connections.

And so I actually created. Quiet networking. This is a in-person networking group for women. People identify as female business owners that tended to be introverted. And I started this up about six months ago and I started it around summertime and I was like, ah, I don’t know. I don’t feel are gonna show up for this.

This is a risky thing. I had about eight women show up the first meeting, and so I’m like, okay, this is something people want. And I think. For, at least for me, especially when I go to a networking event, I like it to be very facilitated. I want, I don’t wanna have to do the small talk and mingle and hope I run into the right people.

I have it very structured and any chance for it to have some deep conversations quickly and really connect with people and so I think the answer to Zoom is maybe less zoom more in person. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: Yeah, it might be. And then I find sometimes the, where is important quiet spaces. Where if there’s networking and a lot of people talking all at once 

The venue matters because some can really resonate noise and there’s a noise factor as well. And I know some people might thrive off that vibrant energy that comes from it. And then at the same time, there’s also, too much. 

Nedra Rezinas: Oh yeah. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: I actually, too much noise. It’s too much reverberation.

Too much vocal noise. And 

Nedra Rezinas: you’re right. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: And it can make even having a conversation kind of stressful if we have to get closer together and talk louder to have a one-on-one conversation or a small group conversation because the networking is

So big. 

Nedra Rezinas: Yeah, that’s why it’s really good to have more one-on-ones where you, or maybe smaller groups if you can, maybe having the, the coffee chats or the get to get know you, but maybe even doing it with a small group of people where you can all collaborate and get to know each other.

I, there’s a new podcast that just got released. Awkward Handshake is what it’s called. Megan and Mary, some colleagues of mine, some friends started it and they’re basically breaking down their hole. Their whole like last year of going to multiple networking events and what they learned and sharing like stats and data it’s fascinating.

So they, they talk on that kind of stuff too. And I know a lot of people that have these loops like ear protection like earplugs when they go to these things because it is so loud and I mean that that’s so sad. Commentary if people are wearing earplugs at these network events, like something needs to change.

That’s why I wanted to start. One is very, I purposely chose Taper Space is a very quiet venue. Sometimes there’s kids in the background, but that’s a little different than saying loud voices all, dominating. And it’s a very calm space to hold an event.

And I was very, I try to make that very purposeful and meaningful so that, when folks come, they are, it’s a grounding experience. It’s not they’re gonna leave uplifted, not, they’re not gonna have to recharge their battery. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: I love that you brought up technology too, because it’s becoming like, how can we protect ourselves?

And I’m noticing and giving reviews of when I experience it, even in restaurants when you’re trying to have. Restaurants where you wanna have a table of two or four or so and have conversations and have that intimacy. A restaurant can make that happen or not. And the noise level is huge. And I have noticed that there’s technology where people are wearing more like noise canceling in a way that is not for the table, but noise canceling.

What’s reverberating around a room. 

Nedra Rezinas: Exactly. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: Yeah. What are your thoughts about the technology and still being able to try to go out and find places that quiet?

Nedra Rezinas: Yeah. I think we’re still like this phase of we’re very, we’re a little awkward and getting together and it’s, COVID did a number on us. It was really. It was, we went, we spent some time at home a lot, and it’s hard to get outta the house. And I think we’re just starting to see like movement in that regard.

Business or personal, like trying to get together with people and what that looks like and feeling comfortable doing that. Here in Portland, I’m still seeing sadly the hours for a lot of these to try, just go into a coffee shop. It’s really short hours. Like there, it’s hard for places to stay open to be sustainable.

It’s, I think it’s, it is a challenge just to even find a place that’s open at a certain time of day. You want to go meet someone? I don’t know. I, it’s, I think we’re in, we’re, we have a couple years to go before we figure this out and find some normalcy with it. It’s, I think it’s still like wobbly and how we are trying to figure that piece out, 

Kim Allchurch Flick: I agree. And that’s about being local. I do also find that. Connections are coming up partly because of COVID and because of Zoom rooms and because of learning, actually meeting people that I’ve never physically been in a room with. And yet building some relationships with those people who are in other states, some, sometimes in other countries.

And so I find the networks are shifting a bit as well. And I definitely wanna protect those relationships. And yet the local in person. Are very important as well, and it becomes some somewhat of a balance. I. 

Nedra Rezinas: Yeah. Yeah. I’ve definitely made a lot of great connections to folks in different cities over, the last five years.

And yeah, it’s, I’ve had a chance to meet some of ’em like you’re saying. And it’s finding that balance of making sure you’re getting the right satisfaction and your needs met locally and online. It, this is new territory. We have never really done this before, so we’re still figuring out, with this all how this all is gonna play out. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: Yeah, I, what makes you optimistic? 

Nedra Rezinas: I am optimistic because I see, new way people are coming forward and with businesses that are helping people in ways that never happened before. There’s a lot of creativity and openness and folks saying, yeah, I might have this challenge, but I’m gonna go through and help these people and accomplish this thing.

And I’m trying to think of a specific example here, but I’m drawing a blank. But I think, I just see people coming together and helping and supporting each other and building more community, and that’s what gives me hope right now. That’s what we need more of. And, none of us can do this in a vacuum or a, we don’t wanna be little silos.

We gotta, people that have accomplished a lot of great things, done it with a community of other people, it’s never been by themselves. So we gotta remember that. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: Yeah. I. That is so good. I also personally am optimistic that there’s more science on the topic of what makes an introvert or an extrovert and what stresses both and what’s better for both.

And I was the kind of kid who would hide in a closet or hide behind my dad’s chair to read a book. And to me, that felt perfectly comfortable and fine and normal and to, 

Nedra Rezinas: yeah. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: And some people might say that’s really strange and. Some extrovert kids were always wanting to go out and play sports, and I also noticed my introversion came out in track and field I was great at.

Team sports felt in intimidated and whether that’s part of 

Nedra Rezinas: same 

Kim Allchurch Flick: being an introvert or not, and what the science is starting to say is, and hopefully younger in schools that can give. Everyone a chance to feel okay with who they are. Yeah. And spaces and places. And I’m also noticing in things like conferences where some organizations are building quiet rooms in a conference space.

Oh yeah. And quiet rooms and exhibit halls and places for people to go to and who are saying words like neurodivergent and finding ways to help people.

We were discussing technology or technology science and awareness that might help create safer spaces for people when schools. But in conferences, learning spaces, and I was wondering what you’re seeing about that. 

Nedra Rezinas: Yeah. I’ve definitely seen more trend, more trending in that direction.

I think you and I went to a conference a few years ago and I noticed they even had some quieter spaces to hang out in, which I really appreciated. Yeah, I’ve seen even just seeing business owners come out and feel more comfortable doing, doing business the way to play their strengths and play to who they are, maybe as introverts or neuro diversion or whatever is going on and I don’t think that was even possible five years ago.

I don’t think that would’ve been. It wouldn’t have felt safe. I think people can talk about it a little more openly. So I think just even having conversations around it and feeling like you can even vocalize, this is how you. Lean or this is your tendencies, I think is huge. And we’re gonna just hopefully see more and more of that.

So it’s not so awkward or strange, it’s gonna be more normalized. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: Yeah. I totally get it. I do find it funny sometimes when I’m talking to people and I admit to being an introvert and they say, wow, I see you everywhere. You can’t be an introvert. And it’s, 

And it goes back to how do we define it?

And if we all have a different definition it’s hard to pin it down, but also. It doesn’t mean introverts don’t like people. It’s the, it’s like the dosage. 

Nedra Rezinas: Exactly. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: Yeah. Small times. But it’s having the private time, quiet recovery from that. That is important, at least to a lot of us.

And I love that the, this is being recognized and discussed more and more. 

Nedra Rezinas: Yeah, like in that book by Susan Cane called Quiet, which came out almost like, I love that. Right? 

Kim Allchurch Flick: Oh, yes. 

Nedra Rezinas: There’s that one part I remember I’ll never forget, and it helped me understand folks that, I’m not quite, I don’t, this was not my tendency, but there was this one professor, speaker that would get up and have these amazing talks in front of, hundreds of people and then and then they made me an after party and they were like, no, I need to go recharge. I need to, I can’t do that. I need to go sit by myself for a while. That was, I just drained my battery. And I think just understanding, I think just helping people understand how to recharge ’em, batteries and help them see ways, certain ways to live their lives.

I think. It’s been for so many years this is the way to do things. This is the only path, this is the way, and I think I wanna help change that. No, there’s lots of ways you can run a business and lead your life and let’s explore those. Let’s talk about those so we can not feel like we’re always drained.

Kim Allchurch Flick: Oh I so agree. Is there anything else you’d like to add? And also, how can people reach you? 

Nedra Rezinas: Yeah. My website is a good place because you can sign up for my newsletter. I have my newsletter. I have a lot of great things I share in that around introverted running, being a business owner, running a, running an introverted type of business.

If you, sorry, scratch that. Running a business right, as a introverted person and what the challenges are and what this. Solutions could be and some insights and building a community around that and yeah. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: That sounds so wonderful. And the last question is, if you could have dinner with any one to three people living or deceased, who would they be and why?

Nedra Rezinas: The first person that popped in my head was my husband’s grandmother Rita, who passed away. About almost two years ago, she was such. She was an outgoing person, but yet had a really gentle way about her. I love having my conversations with her. So I’d have her at the TA table for sure.

And then I would also invite Ann Patchett, one of my favorite authors of all time. 

And I know between the three of us, we’d have some really good conversations that would just be memorable. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: Oh, that sounds delightful. And I love that you brought up the book quiet, because I read that when it came out.

She has a whole online group system now. The Awkward handshake is another reference and resource, so I appreciate that. I think Anne Patchett would be really, really interesting. To have a dinner with as well. Thank you so much. It’s so great to have you here and everyone thank you for listening.

Hoping you have a great day and a great month and a great year. Talk soon.