Teaching What Technology Can’t with Tracy Hooper of The Confidence Project

Kim Allchurch Flick: Hello everyone. Welcome to the podcast. This is Kim Allchurch Flick, and I am here with Tracy Hooper of the Confidence Project and I’m so delighted. Welcome. 

Tracy Hooper: Thank you very much.

Kim Allchurch Flick: So what has been your journey up to. What’s inspired you along the way and shaped your values to create the confidence project?

Tracy Hooper: Oh my goodness. My values were really shaped by my family. Growing up in a big family, there are six of us. I’m the second four girls and two boys, and really my parents taught us how to treat everyone as if they are the most important person in the room because you are. Anybody we’re talking to is the most important person in the room.

They matter. And that started, growing up around my family dinner table and with my grandparents coming over and neighborhood kids would come to our house and everybody was welcomed and treated with dignity and respect. Then I got into the TV news business, and that is a challenging industry where it’s get what you can hurry up, do it faster.

It’s not really about building relationships. It’s about having a transactional experience. If someone’s in a crisis and you’re covering that story for the news, but what I found is if I approached people. And introduced myself using my full name. I looked them in the eye. I shook their hand and said, I’m sorry to meet you under such circumstances, or congratulations for whatever they’re excited about.

The people immediately connected to it. When you attach your first and last name to an introduction, it’s much more interesting than, Hey, I’m Kim. Hey, I’m Tracy. And I think also too, for people who are in the news business. There is an assumption that people would know who we are, but to say my first and last name really let people know that I understood that they might not know who I am, even though there’s a cameraman next to me and the logo from my station.

I think treating people that way, making them feel significant, really has been a part of. Of my journey and really what led me to the Confidence project was that I noticed that the way people were talking, interacting with each other was changing. This was in 2012 and I thought what skills do I have that I could make it available for people to talk about getting to know each other?

And I started the confidence project thinking, oh, it’s going to be, how do you introduce yourself? How do you introduce someone else? How do you start a conversation with someone you don’t know? But it’s really expanded into Kim. It’s teaching people what technology can’t. That’s really what the Confidence project is all about.

Teaching people what? Technology can’t. How to communicate and carry yourself with confidence. You can’t depend on an iPad or iPhone or a Zoom call for that. We’re talking in person, but, or we’re talking by Zoom. But there’s so much more to having a real conversation than what you might have on a text or in an email.

Kim Allchurch Flick: Oh, that’s so brilliant and I love how you expressed it, making people feel significant. Teaching what technology can’t. 

Tracy Hooper: Yeah. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: And that must be really interesting now because technology curves are exponential and it’s pretty fascinating world we live in. So tell us more about that. 

Tracy Hooper: In my view, people hide behind their devices.

I was leaving my colleague’s house the other day. We were working together at her house and I got in my car and there was a woman walking up the street with her dog. And as soon as I walked to my car and she was walking next to my car, she went right to her phone. And I thought, what is intimidating about looking at someone and saying Good morning.

We think that and I think we’re so used to being on our devices that we have conversations by text. That’s not a conversation, that’s a text. We have conversations by email. That’s not a conversation. That’s email. What we’re doing right now is a conversation. It’s a dance. It’s a back and forth.

It’s a partnership. You speak, I listen. I speak, you, listen, we take turns. Sometimes you lead, sometimes I lead. But it’s all about that connection, connecting. And when we connect in person or what we’re doing right now, it can be magic. It can be the opportunity to really understand a person better, look at their perspective, let them hear what you have to say.

So that’s what the confidence project is really about, helping people feel comfortable in all kinds of situations, not the least of which is in person. And I always tell people if it’s tricky for you to look someone in the eye, which is the way that you make people feel important, if it’s tricky for you to look someone in the eye, look at the bridge of their nose.

It’s a great fake. It’s in the family, it’s in the neighborhood. And that’s part of what I do is just help people feel comfortable with other people. And one of the ways that you can do that is asking what I call or asking Kickstarter questions using the magic words, which in my view are what, how, and tell me more.

If we simply asked those simple, use those simple words to get in a conversation with someone, what brings you to here tonight? How did you hear about this event? Tell me more about your company. What brought you to this part of the country? Tell me more about that. That’s interesting. I never thought about it that way.

Keep going. When we o ask those open-ended questions, he gives people a chance to talk about their favorite subject wishes. Themselves. 

People love to talk about themselves. Of course. We want people to be interested in us. That’s a snippet 

Kim Allchurch Flick: And so important, and I’m also thinking about the devices and networking events that I’ve been to.

And there was one recently where the rule was no devices and it was a meeting. We were supposed to come away with notes and things like that, but the rule was no devices. And it was great, and I’m not gonna say it wasn’t difficult because I often take notes on a device, but 

Tracy Hooper: yeah, 

Kim Allchurch Flick: paper will do and, but the engagement was really terrific.

I 

Tracy Hooper: love that idea. I’m gonna recommend that to some of my clients and colleagues. I just saw something, I don’t know whether you watch the Pit, it’s a second season. Oh, so good. And as if we don’t have enough medical shows, but I just love it. And I was listening to Noah Wiley, who’s of course the Star and the executive director, and he said in the studio, no one is allowed to bring their phones.

And they put their phones in a cubby, and next to that is a library. And so instead of picking up your phone, you pick up a book if you’re in between takes or you’re not shooting much that day. And I thought, isn’t that brilliant? He’s helping people to stay fully connected to their character or to step into another world by reading a book and not getting it off our phones.

I, I thought that was. So smart. My husband just finished teaching business, personal finance and accounting at Lincoln High School here in Portland. And they have cubbies now for the kids to put their phones, which I think is a step in the right direction. All the literature, all the research shows that it’s not good for us.

We need to use our brains. We need to talk to each other. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: Indeed. And I’m so glad you’re bringing. As well. There’s been a couple of news reports about schools and how it’s a weaning process too. It’s been difficult, but there was a principal that was noting when they let, even when they let the kids say, have their phone during a break or between classes, often they would show up late to the next class because the phones suck us in it’s dopamine hits.

It’s a variety of things. And at first they said only for emergencies. And he said, we’d hear kids talking with their mom about what they were gonna have for dinner. And he was like, okay, we’ve gotta define emergency. Yeah. And how difficult it was to give them even a little bit. But also some of those studies that show, even if you go camping where there’s no cell phone signal and it’s more gently forced.

It can’t be on the phones. People usually feel so much healthier and so much better after, after a while of that. So what you’re talking about I think it’s compelling to remember, yes, they are tools, but also they can’t be front and center of life otherwise we it’s interesting the more information we have access to, the more we miss.

And I’ve noticed that that’s an interesting about myself too. That’s an 

Tracy Hooper: interesting, say more about that. Tell me more. What do you mean? 

Kim Allchurch Flick: I’m thinking about sometimes it’s dangerous. I have seen people cross streets looking at their phones. 

Tracy Hooper: Yeah. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: And I, I traveled through four cities in Asia with Portland State University and we were doing projects.

And in the biggest intersection in the world, which is in Tokyo, it’s where people flow all at the same time. It’s a site to behold. And one of the students kept playing Candy Crush and a couple of us literally had to grab his elbow and walk him across the street. And for Candy Crush, he was missing one of the greatest sites in a city that he is never been to that kind of hold that something can have.

And even at dinner we went to a little restaurant where. We couldn’t read the menu. And there was some company men, it was a small restaurant and Japanese company men, and they noticed us being from all sorts of different countries, not being able to read the menu. And they ordered for us. And this same kid, the ch the one from China, looked up enough to.

To be delighted that he got skewered chicken hearts. He was absolutely delighted. And then he went back to his phone and Oh 

Tracy Hooper: my 

Kim Allchurch Flick: goodness. And these men were engaging with the rest of us, with none of us knowing how to speak Japanese. And it was, and I remember that he probably doesn’t remember because he was un Candy Crush.

And so that I think is what I mean by that. Going to a park, are you gonna look at the phone or. Look at the birds, and sometimes the phone can help us look at the birds. I admit to using eBird and Merlin quite a bit, but it’s it’s an assistant instead of it being a distraction.

Tracy Hooper: Are you familiar with Esther Perel? 

Kim Allchurch Flick: I am not. 

Tracy Hooper: Esther Perel is a. A very well known international relationship therapist. She speaks nine languages. Can you imagine sitting in the therapist chair and if you speak French, German, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, she would be able to converse with you. And she says this, it’s important to talk to strangers.

Talk to strangers not a stranger, in a dark alley at 2:00 AM. Talk to strangers, which could be your Uber driver, your Lyft driver, someone who you see regularly at your coffee shop, but you’ve never spoken with them before. If you’re at a athletic event, at a reunion, at at a wedding reception, she says, talking to strangers builds social courage.

Social courage. And it’s spontaneity, it’s improvisation. It’s serendipity, it’s curiosity. When you build that, when you are curious about other people and you have the courage to speak to people who are it’s a lab. Nobody’s gonna bleed. Nobody’s gonna die. You’re practicing talking to other people in a safe place.

Then it gives you a, she says it builds trust. If we don’t talk to strangers, she said, we don’t build trust in them and in ourselves to be able to communicate with them. And I often tell my clients, think of it as a lab. It’s an experiment. I’m going to talk to my Lyft driver and use those magic words.

What, how, and tell me more. How long have you been a Lyft driver? How’s it going for you? I remember one time I was taking a lift to an event and I was dressed in business attire. I had on a black coat and heels, and I was dressed up. It was for business. And when I got into my lift. The gentleman, I heard the music change from Hard rock to classical.

I thought, that’s interesting. So I sat down in the back, I put on my seatbelt and I said to him, good morning. Thank you for being here. Thank you for a clean car. I was like to thank people for a clean car. And I said I noticed that the music changed from Hard Rock to classical when I got in the car.

Is that intentional? And he said, yes. I said, tell me more about that. He said I could tell I got a vibe from you that you were professional. And so I wanted the music to reflect that. I said, how long have you been experimenting with this with this idea? He said, for about three months. And I said, what’s been the change?

He said, my tips are higher. And I thought, wow, simply being aware, being attentive, being attuned to other people can benefit everyone. I felt good. It was calming music for me. I was on my way to give a presentation. He didn’t know that, of course, and he was responding to me. That showed respect for. What I might like.

And it started a conversation and yeah, I gave him a higher tip. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: Wow. That’s how intuitive and how interesting I, you brought up Lyft drivers and it reminds me of a story that happened before COVID, but I’d flown into Salt Lake to see my family, and I decided to take a Lyft. And I usually open with some kind of a question, like, how are you, how’s your day?

That’s usually been my open and I’m gonna change to your questions that you recommend. But what came out of that drive was I, he had an accent and I commented and asked him, what brought you to Salt Lake? Instead of, where are you from? I didn’t really make assumptions about what brought you to Salt Lake.

Turns out he was a journalist from Caracas, Venezuela. He had to leave so he wouldn’t be killed. 

Tracy Hooper: Wow. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: And that was just before COVID. Same regime that has just been shifted a bit and talking to him about how his life as a journalist and how important he felt journalism was.

And yet he first landed in la. And just worked any job he could to try and bring some of his family over. And that conversation was 45 minutes long during the drive. And it touched me a lot because he talked about realities. He didn’t sugarcoat anything and then, bring it to now, and I always wonder, is he even safe?

Is he even still here? And. This is somebody who just wanted to tell the truth and maybe he got some of those stories up because some of the passengers asked questions who could tell others and be informed and aware and almost, I would say 80% of the Lyft drivers, Lyft were, I’m Lyft person myself that I’ve been with.

Many have been from overseas. 

Tracy Hooper: Yeah. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: And they’re doing what they can and some are PhDs and getting to know that those little conversations have expanded my worldview. 

Tracy Hooper: Oh, definitely. Or it could be someone who’s in between jobs. Yes. It could be someone whose mother is sick and they need to have the flexibility to take their mother to get a dialysis procedure.

And then they have to drive at night. Everybody has a story. Everybody has a story that will break your heart. And if we are curious as human to human, person to person, I think our world can be so much richer. I was struck by when Phil Donahue died. I always. He was one of the, my mother was the original talk show host Kim, and then there was Phil Donahue and then there was Oprah.

But Phil Donahue said before, about a month before he passed away, he said the foundation of what he covered in the 7,000 episodes he taped was curiosity. And he said, if we can just learn to. Be curious about each other. We live in this global world. We can get along better if we knew someone’s story.

And that’s what I mean, a lift ride. Somebody you see, walking your at the dog park, if that’s where you take your dog. It’s not, nothing’s dangerous about it. It’s simply making conversation. And then when you’re ready for a real conversation with a prospect or a client or a job interview, or you are on a panel to select someone for a job, then you’re more comfortable having those natural conversations.

Kim Allchurch Flick: Indeed. And how did you name your. Company, the Confidence 

Tracy Hooper: Project. Ask that. I have worked with a woman for a long time. Her name is Sarah Garrison, and Sarah helps me with everything technical. Everybody needs somebody like that in their world. And Sarah and I was talking about this company.

I wanted to have AC company by communicating with Con, I didn’t even use the word confidence. And Sarah said to me, well, you know, my sister and I are working on this project. I said, oh my gosh, Sarah. That’s what we’ll call it, the Confidence Project, because it’s a project it’s ever changing and growing and expanding, and we’re all learning.

And I said, oh my gosh, quickly. Get the URL. And so Sarah went to get the URL for the confidence project, and at the time the URL, the confidence project was already taken. It was a men’s underwear company, so I couldn’t get the confidence project, so I just got. Confidence project. That’s fine. And then about three years ago, I got noticed that the confidence project was for sale.

And I guess the underwear company didn’t last. And so I bought the confidence project. So I have both the Confidence Project and Confidence project, but I really love it because it’s unfinished. It’s in process like marriages, as my mother always says. Marriages are in process all the time.

And relationships in general. That’s where it came from. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: It’s unfinished. I, that is so profound as I stand here in my project house with my beautiful husband, you’re right. It’s a journey and I think that’s part of the wonderment of it and the word confidence, I think it’s, and shame on me.

I assume that lack of confidence is often in young people, teenage years, life transitions, but it can also occur quite a bit in adulthood, throughout adulthood. And so what do you see and how do you work with people on confidence? 

Tracy Hooper: Oh first of all, confidence is a verb. The way people become.

The way people become confident is by taking action. Taking action. My theme is take action, make mistakes, adjust, refine, repeat. We just finished the Olympics. Those athletes were not winging it. They have been practicing and taking action. For years, Mikaela Shiffrin. I thought it was such an amazing story.

She won all these gold medals two Olympics ago. The last Olympics. She didn’t win any this time. She won a gold, but she said, I’m always terrified when I go down the hill, the mountain, but I do it anyway and. I think if someone’s goal is to be more confident in conversation, if they want to be more confident having a difficult conversation, if they want to be confident speaking up, I believe for any professional, if you really wanna have a rich professional life, you need to be able to speak publicly.

You need to be able to stand up in front of one or many and speak. And you don’t have to be Winston Churchill or Margaret Thatcher. Or Michelle Obama. But you need to be able to speak with confidence in front of a group, and that is will help the trajectory of anyone’s career and that takes practice.

Sir Michael Caine, the brilliant British award-winning actor, said rehearsal is the work, the performance is the relaxation. You’re so rehearsed, you’re so comfortable with the material that when you get on stage or you get in front of a group, that’s when you can relax. And I think that’s so interesting because we just assume that the Meryl Streeps of the world, the Jerry Seinfelds of the world, are naturally talented.

Yes, they’re talented with a lot of crafting that goes along. Jerry Seinfeld said before he ever performed for the first time on the Tonight Show, he rehearsed his four minute monologue 150 times. No wonder it sounded smooth. And guess what? We owe that to our audience. We owe that to our. Colleagues to be prepared to a prospect if we’re pitching for, a proposal that we have we owe it to them to be prepared and not wing it.

My mother has this great expression without notes, we wander. And I often think about that. People get up to receive an Academy Award and they say I just don’t know what to say. And I’m thinking, girlfriend, you are one of five people who’ve been nominated for this best actress award. And you’ve known for weeks that you got this nomination.

You need to be prepared. I always get mad. I’m thinking, bring some notes and thank the people you want to, or give us some words of wisdom or leave us with some hopeful thought about our future. Don’t just say, I don’t know what to say, Kim. I don’t mean to get started on this, but I do mean to get started on this.

We need to be able to say, you’re right, who we are and what we represent, what value we bring, and it could be. With regard to your own career or what you believe in, if there’s something a project or a cause that you believe in, to be able to say that with confidence and that comes with practice. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: So how do you work with people?

How do you take them from feeling lack of confidence or may maybe not even knowing it, they just don’t know how to start, or they’re feeling. Such lack of confidence. They’re terrified and hiding in a corner. How do you bring the best out in people’s confidence? 

Tracy Hooper: One of my secret formulas is that I, the first session I have with people when I’m working one-on-one, is that we create a like list.

And that is, they have to tell me everything they like about themselves. And let me tell you. It can be painful because they think, oh let’s see. I am, I’m pretty organized and I am, I’m pretty friendly and I’m. Smart enough, there are all these, catches. What do you mean pretty organized?

Are you organized or not? Yes, I’m organized. Anyway, they gimme their whole like list and then after about five or six, sometimes people will say, I can’t think of anything else. I say, keep going. Oh, okay. And then they come up with three or four more. Okay. Is that enough? No. That’s not enough. And this takes up a fair amount of time.

And it’s enlightening because then I say, what do your friends like about you? What does your family like about you? And sometimes someone say, I’m estranged from my mother. Okay. Is there someone else in your family? Yes, my cousin, my sister. What do your colleagues like about you? What do your bosses like about you?

And sometimes Kim, I will get. Three pages of notes of what people like about themselves. And then I say to them, okay, now close your eyes and I’m gonna read to you your like list. And I don’t want you to say to yourself, yes, but I should have, I can’t. And I will tell you, almost every single time people weep,

We rarely take the time to talk about what we like about ourselves, especially with another person. And that’s where we start. So that when we’re working together over a period of time, then we can go back to that like list. When they’re talking about presenting something, some, an idea to their boss, we can go back to their like list about I’m organized, I have a strategic mind, I am an inclusive person.

And then they can bring that into the work that they do. It’s really very painful, powerful. And I’ll tell you something else about three years ago, I felt like I was always motivating myself by saying, get going. Just come on. What is your problem? You should be more organized. That was like my way of motivating myself.

And about three years, and it wasn’t all the time, but it was on occasion. And about three years ago, I thought I wouldn’t speak to my, I don’t speak to my daughters that way. I don’t speak to my husband that way. I don’t speak to my friends that way. And if I did, I wouldn’t have any. So I decided that I was going to sweet talk myself, and now when I’m under a deadline and I’m working on something, I’ll say to myself, you are doing so well.

Keep going, Tracy. Yep. Keep going. Just give it another minute. I am so sweet to myself and I can’t tell you how that calms down my nervous system. It’s a really powerful tool. I encourage people to sweet talk themselves. In fact, I have a monthly video, complimentary monthly video, two to three minutes each month, the first Thursday of the month, and one of my videos is called Sweet Talk Yourself, and it’s a way of doing that.

I think we need to practice that as much as we need to practice talking to strangers.

Kim Allchurch Flick: That really struck me as. A, I don’t do that. And B, what a beautiful idea

and what a practice. How many of us, if we did that would feel better on a daily basis. 

Tracy Hooper: Yeah. The other, a 

Kim Allchurch Flick: good thing to do, 

Tracy Hooper: the other technique I say to my clients is, okay, now I want you to ask people who you care about in your life, what they like about you. Don’t show them the like list. You ask them what they’d like, they’ll add some other ideas, and then I want you to print it out and read it out loud.

Because I believe when we hear the words come out of our mouth and into our ears, then it becomes a part of who we are. Oh yeah, I am. I am organized. Oh yeah. I am smart. We have to remind ourselves of all of our good qualities. Yeah. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: Wow. It’s a beautiful thing that you’re doing. And where are some examples of places that you think this should be more normalized?

Like people actually talking about confidence instead of saying, oh, you, you try to be more confident, or, whatever. I’m thinking about parents or teachers, but. Where is it missing to have this conversation? 

Tracy Hooper: I think in the workplace it definitely can be a part of a skill that leaders model and teach.

One of my goals is to spread the news of the confidence project far and wide. So if we can have leaders. Begin to use these techniques with their team, then people feel safe to talk about, I don’t understand this. Can you explain this to me? Could you support me in this? I was working with a young man several years ago.

Wow. Maybe nine years ago, and he said, I am. An introvert. I’m reserved. I’m more of a processor, I’m a thinker and I go into these meetings with other people and there are a lot of type A’s, and there are a lot of people who are very verbose and I feel like I don’t get to give my talking points. I don’t get to give my message.

And so we came up with this technique for him to go to his boss and ask for a seven minute, like kind of an odd number for a seven minute, zoom or one-on-one, three or four days before the meeting, and at that point he would tell his boss what the talking points were that he wanted to get out in this meeting, and it did two.

That was to accomplish two goals. Number one, it. Gave his boss to be a part of the know, he was in the know for sure. But secondly, it gave his boss a chance to say if someone got off track, then he could bring them back to this young man’s point and give him a cha. He amplified him in the room and give him a chance to talk about it.

So that’s a way that we can. That we can support other people who have different personalities that may, they may not be the loudest person in the room if someone is reserved or quiet or more of a processor. Sometimes the best ideas come from the people who speak the least because they’re such good listeners and they’re compiling all the information that everybody is sharing, and then they can bring it out in a succinct message.

So we need to call on people in meetings who are quiet. And say, what’s your perspective? Oh, I don’t really know. I don’t know. Let’s take a moment. What were you thinking about when we were talking about A, B, C? Helping people to know that they’re, what they have to say matters and that we need to hear their voice.

People are at companies for a reason. Their because of their skill, their talent, their ideas. So we need to get those people to talk as well as other people who are perhaps more talkative. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: Indeed. And I’m one of those people rather quiet and often, but in sales situations, so sometimes have to switch on a more exuberant personality.

Tracy Hooper: Yes, it 

Kim Allchurch Flick: can’t last all day. It’s exhausting, but at the same time it’s a point of diversity as well. Indeed everyone can bring something and it shouldn’t be a battle between extroverts and introverts and who’s best at what. But it’s that combination that can really strike some magic when people feel confident or at least accepted enough to be confident to speak up.

Yeah. 

Tracy Hooper: I think it’s very important to amplify people in any room. Notice the person who’s not talking. Notice the person who at a networking event or an industry conference who’s standing by themselves and welcome that person into the conversation saying something as simple as, come join us. We were just talking about Kim’s podcast.

Now that person is immediately brought into the conversation. They’re up to speed with what’s happening and they can be a part of it. Oh, do you all know Kim? There are many ways that we can welcome someone. I wanna jump back to something we were talking about earlier a few minutes ago, and that is the idea of different personality types.

I am an extrovert and. I still need time to decompress. I remember the first time I spoke at Nike, I was psyched. It was great. I was speaking to the equipment group and there were 50 people in the room and I was there, for a good part of the day. And I left at three and I thought, oh, my way home, I’ll just stop by the grocery store.

And I pulled into the grocery store parking lot and I thought. I am exhausted, so I turned off the car, I put my seat back and I went sound asleep for 30 minutes in the parking lot of the grocery store. We all need to recharge and it’s okay to do that for yourself. We don’t have to keep pushing through.

And if you’re the kind of person who needs to recharge more often, that’s fine. Give yourself. Five minutes between phone calls. Give yourself 10 minutes between meetings if you can possibly do that. We need to give our, we need to be kind to our innards, our soul, our lungs, our voice. We need to stop talking for a while and just be quiet.

Kim Allchurch Flick: Oh, it’s true and beautiful. What, what makes you optimistic in your view? 

Tracy Hooper: What makes me optimistic is that I truly believe people do wanna have conversations with each other. I do believe people are not satisfied with texting and emailing and scrolling. I gave a presentation last week to 250 salespeople and.

And every person, not every person, many people came up and said, thank you for giving us techniques to be able to talk to other people in person. I think that we were weak before COVID, and we were really weak after COVID in terms of interacting with people, and we need to exercise that muscle again, and it’s safe.

And it’s fun. And if you have the techniques to do that, welcoming someone into a conversation or being in a situation where you would say, may I join you? I just heard you talking about your new dog. May I join you? Because in a social setting, most conversations are not private. They’re social and so it’s, you can enter into a conversation.

May I join you or come join us? We were just talking about Kim’s podcast. Do you all know Kim? Oh, I’ll let you all introduce yourselves. If you can’t remember all the people’s names in a group, it can be very intimidating. I remember your Kim name, Kim, but I don’t know how to bring you in ’cause I can’t remember everybody in the group.

You simply say, I’ll let you all introduce yourselves. People love that. Now you feel important. Everybody has a chance to say their name and how they like it pronounced. The world is flat. We have a lot of complicated names in the world. We wanna be able to say people’s names in a way that they like.

It could be an accent in a certain area that we wouldn’t know unless we heard them say it. So I think that people really do want to have more conversations. I went to a retirement party, Henry and I, my husband and I, on Saturday night, and there were 75 people there. So it was a lot of people. People were talking like crazy.

They were so happy to be together and not everybody knew everyone. This is a friend of ours who’s a doctor, anesthesiologist, and so his doctor friends were there, people from the hospital and they were friends from church and friends from the neighborhood and other friends and his family from all over the country.

People were just mingling and talking, and it was really very encouraging. It was very encouraging. I think people are hungry to have good conversation and to feel as if they matter in a conversation or in a situation. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: I, yes, I love that and I feel it too. And the more we get of that. The better, I think.

So what more would you like to tell people and how can they reach you? 

Tracy Hooper: Oh you can go to, so the website is still real confidence project.com and as I mentioned, you can go to the website and on every page you could sign up for the monthly video. And I love that because especially with so many remote teams, it’s great for people to, oh, that’s a really interesting video.

I’m gonna share that with my team. And then people get to do that. That’s a way for you to stay connected, have a talking point. And also it’s everything. It’s everything confident. It’s, I just love it. I’ve produced over a hundred videos and every month I think, oh, what am I gonna talk about this month?

And then something happens and I think there it is. That’s gonna be the message for the month. And then, yeah, just go to confidence project.com. I do have a book called The New Hello. And what to say, what to do in the world of work, remote, hybrid, in person. And this has a lot of the skills that you and I talked about today in the book.

And this is what I recommend to people. Look at the table of contents, scan it, find a chapter that sparks your interest and read that we all have a lot to read. I don’t expect you to read this cover to cover, but there’s some great ideas for connecting with people, teaching people what technology can’t.

And that’s how you can find me. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: That’s excellent, and we’ll put everything in the show notes. Thank you. And for a last question, if you could have dinner with anyone, up to three people living or deceased, who would they be and why? 

Tracy Hooper: First of all I said my mother was the original talk show host. I would always have dinner with my mother.

My mother is still living, she’s 93 years old. She’s in very good health. She lives independently and she is constantly sending me articles. Kim, in the mail. This is good for the Confidence project. Tracy, this would be good for your content. She’s my chief content officer, so I will have dinner with my mother anytime.

I would also really like to have dinner with David Brooks. He’s been a New York Times columnist for 40 years. He just left the Times. He’s doing some other work with the Atlantic Magazine. He’s on the PBS News Hour on Fridays. He’s, he’s a combination of a journalist an historian. He has just a vast amount of knowledge that he makes very practical for today’s world.

He’s a very insightful learned man, and I’ve heard him speak once here in Portland. I’d love to have dinner with him, and I would really love to meet Oprah. I remember when my girls, our girls were little Oprah would come on at three in the afternoon. So I’d pick up the girls at school and they’d come home and have a nap and a snack.

I’m embarrassed to say. Then I’d watch Oprah. They’d be fooling around, running around outside, and I’d watch Oprah and then we’d get to homework and. Bedtime and dinner and all that, but talk about a woman who has evolved. I went to hear her she was doing something at the 2020 Vision tour in 2020.

It was a week before the world closed down for COVID. And when she walked onto stage, I’m telling you, the energy shifted in the room. It was. The most powerful physical experience I’ve had with someone in a live situation, and she owned the room. She was natural, she was inquisitive she was complimentary.

I really admire the life that she’s built and the impact that she’s made. So I would love to have dinner with Oprah. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: That would be amazing. And everyone and David Brooks and your mother sounds incredible. 93 years old and 

Tracy Hooper: Yep, yep. I’ve learned a lot from her. Yeah. Without notes. We wander. Take your notes with you, everybody.

I always say that we, it’s great to have notes. Yep. 

Kim Allchurch Flick: Tracy, it is such a delight to always talk with you and 

Tracy Hooper: thank 

Kim Allchurch Flick: everyone. Please reach out. I am gonna sign up for those monthly videos myself. I think that’s super important. We could all use a little confidence boost here and there. Yeah, and thank you so much.

This is Kim Allchurch Flick signing off. Have a good day.